People Don't Change, Lives Do - I Help Change Lives

People don't change...lives do.

-Me

I came up with that the other day, and it really struck me. I wanted to blog about this idea as I think it can be quite powerful. Ultimately, it's at the heart of what I try to do with newbodi.es - I try to help people change their lives - while remaining true to who they are.  Let me explain.

You hear two conflicting ideas about people and change:

1. A tiger can't change his stripes.
2. Everyone can change.

So which is it? I think they're actually not opposing, but rather are talking about different things.  And they're both true.  The idea of #1 is that a tiger's stripes are literally permanent.  It means we are, at our core, who we are.  Our bodies are somewhat fixed due to our genetics and life - we can't change our height, the number of limbs we have, etc.  We can't even change our hair color. I know, you're thinking, "Sure you can, you just dye it." No, you can't. You cover up the real color, but under that dye job, your real hair color remains. That's why people get roots when they dye their hair.

By the same token, aspects of our values and ethics are largely unchangeable as they have decades behind their development.  They can be tweaked, but they generally will remain. Perhaps not all of them, but enough for you to have an identity as a person. Don't agree with me? Would you ever kill someone for fun? Not self-defense, retribution, survival, etc.  Just for kicks.  Would you ever change that opinion?  See what I mean?  Notice I'm not assuming you would or wouldn't do it, just that your view on the matter is likely engrained permanently. Why is it so permanent? It's rooted in some very basic morals and values you hold - perhaps even subconsciously. These won't change on the whole (though they can be refined, of course).

Speaking more physically, if you want to become a great basketball player and are five feet tall, you can't work hard at being seven feet tall to be good.  You can become a great player regardless, but you can't change your height by will, reading, introspection or training.

These are the stripes of the tiger.  They don't change.  This is why I say, "People don't change."

Instead, what we can change is how we live. The choices we make around our actions and beliefs about what happens around us completely alter our lives. While the tiger's stripes are permanent, he can choose whether to eat that other animal. Whether you're a generally inactive person or not and whether you eat unhealthily or not, you can choose to go for a walk. You can choose to eat better. You can choose to believe this is good and feel good as a result. That good feeling will drive more good actions.

See, we are all dealt a hand in this card game. We can't change that. What we can change is how we play it. What strategy will we employ to win. We can also define what we consider to be winning (getting all the chips, having a great time, making stronger friendships during the game, etc).

You are who you are. That's fixed, but it's not a prison. Let's work together to change your life. It is how you enlighten.your.body.