Mind Over Miles

This post is long – very long, actually.  It’s the longest I’ve written. But that’s appropriate given the content and the message.  I hope you’ll read the entire post, and really take the message in as I think it can help.  I posted the essence to a running group I’m part of online, and the number of responses that came in almost instantly shows me how many people are out there thinking the way I was, and how much this message can help. It’s about persevering beyond your self-doubt to find a place where you achieve and grow.

On a recent business trip to London, I was going to get a chance to run with a coworker (Bill) who has done some very long races relative to the kind of mileage I put in (half marathon, Ragnar Ultra Marathon Relay).  We were talking about running along the River Thames together, which I love to do, but he was thinking of nothing major – just five miles or so.  The longest I had run was 4.2 miles, and I tore the lateral meniscus in my left knee on that run.  Since my knee surgery, the longest I had gone was 3.8 miles.  I had Bill beat speed-wise (or at least according to the self-deprecating pace he claimed to run at) by quite a margin, so I told myself going so much slower should make it ok.

I got to London a few days before Bill, so I decided I best give the distance a try.  I suited up as soon as I landed, having flown in on a Sunday.  With my compression socks pulled high and my big hand bottle filled up, I took to the Thames Path (some of the best running in a city you could imagine).

With a 5K race coming up, I figured I needed to at least pull off a 5K around my goal pace (aiming for sub-25 minutes), but anything beyond that was gravy, and I wasn’t sure I could do it.  It was very crowded on the path, so I got some good training on dodging and weaving, which I’m sure I’ll need for my upcoming race.  If you’re familiar with the Thames, I started at Tower Bridge across from Butler’s Wharf, crossed the river, and ran out through More London by City Hall toward The Eye, passing The Globe Theater and The Tate Modern along the way.  It’s really a great run.

I definitely had to push myself.  I figured it was because I had just come off a seven-hour flight and had been feeling sick for the past week.

I ran to the landmark he had mentioned for a there-and-back route (the London Eye, which is about 2.7 miles from our hotel).  I didn’t quite go all the way, and turned at 2.35 miles.

I was surprised at how fresh I was feeling – fresher than I had felt at the first mile.  My pace was about 7’40”, which was well under my target pace.  Good stuff.

The run continued with me crossing to the other side of the river, crossing on the Millennium foot-bridge.  Coming back on the other side is a mix of running along the river and having to break back into the city for a block or two as the path isn’t as direct as it is on the side I ran out on.

As I crossed the 5K mark, my pace was still sub-8, and I felt really good, but had developed a blister on my right foot that was really starting to bother me.  Despite that, I found some other runners, reeled ‘em in, and left ‘em behind.  I had to stop a couple of times to adjust my shoe to deal with my blister, so some of my victims overtook me.  Momentarily.  I found them all again, and got my kills back.  Awesome.

I really cooked a few times, getting my pace down below 7’ for some 200-800 repeats, and felt great (aside from my blister).  I came back to my hotel at 4.6 miles – a new record distance for me.  But it wasn’t enough – I had more in the tank, and needed to know I could do five before I risked humiliation in front of a coworker.  I basically ran back and forth in front of the hotel with my arm up so I could see my GPS watch until I hit five.  Slap the wrist and I’m done.  Wow.

I expected that to be my long run before Thursday when this guy and I were going to run again, and then that would be my long run for months to come.  I was right about the first part, but not the second.

On that run with Bill, he took off at 5:20am at a pace in the low 7s.  So much for his claim to run 9-10’ miles!  I was definitely working at it to keep up.  He insisted he’d be running out of steam soon, which he did, but never down to the 9s or 10s he claimed to run.  We settled in the low 8s, which I’m very comfortable at.  The first two miles took some work to keep sticking at – I could hear a voice inside saying, “It’s cool if you have to tell Bill you’re going to turn and head back. It’s ok if you’re not feeling it today. He’s a good guy. Don’t worry, just turn around. And it’s ok to stop and take a breather. He’s cool with it.”  The thing is, it’s the same voice I heard the whole first half of the run on Sunday, and that I tend to hear during my entire 2-3.5 milers, which is my typical distance.  As our pace settled and I warmed up, we started talking more, so I couldn’t hear the voice so much.  Suddenly, we reached The Eye before I knew it, and I realized I was feeling really good.  I had done a lot of first aid on my foot since Sunday, so my blister wasn’t an issue.  I was just feeling on top of my game all around.

And then it happened.  Only this time, ‘It’ was nothing.  No pain. No tiring out. No negative inner voice.  I was in a zone I’d never experienced before when running. It’s like I had gotten past some initial wall of mental traffic, and was suddenly cruising on an open freeway with a huge grin on my entire body.  Call it Flow, call it The Zone, call it a runner’s high, call it whatever.  I had hit a place where endurance wasn’t an issue.  I had hit a place where my body and my mind were in perfect sync, and both feeding off each other to the other’s benefit.  It was awesome.

I posted this in a running group I'm part of on Facebook, and got a response on the medical reasons for this:

And here’s the medical explanation…it’s ultimately about when your brain reads the signals that things need to change in how it’s dictating your systems and then how long before your body catches up given the deficit that’s built while your brain was ‘waking up’ to reality

We did 6.15 miles without realizing it.  I wish I knew so we could have made it a 10K (a quick run around the hotel would have been more than enough to get to 6.2 miles).   The thing is, I really could have kept going.  I wish I did – I honestly think I could have done 10 miles with the time I still had.  I ended up going to the hotel gym and doing 35 minutes on the elliptical, so I know I could have put in another 3-4 miles.

We emailed back and forth a bit, and I said we should do it again Friday.  I had to leave for the airport at 8, so I’d be up by 4, and would be game to hit it as soon as the sun came up (5:06am sunrise).  He emailed me at 5 to say he wasn’t up for it after a late night business dinner. I was bummed because I enjoyed his company, I wanted to show Bill the other side of the river (he’s never run by More London and wasn’t sure how to get to the other side, which can honestly be tricky with various stairs and some points where you have to go out a bit from the path to get back into it – at least to dumb Americans like me and him).  I was also bummed because I was afraid that my ability in the back half of the run came from Bill being there to push me and take my mind off things.  I had decided to run music-free this week, so I nervous about getting caught in my head too much.  I also had a really bad pain between my third and fourth met on my left foot.

I set out at 5:15am, crossed Tower Bridge, and told myself I needed to press to The Eye no matter what.  I had a plan for what to cover to get over six miles, and wanted to do seven.  My foot hurt, but I didn’t feel it as much if I focused on keeping my foot strong when I landed.

Sure enough, the first couple of miles were tough – not quite as tough as they had been on Sunday or with Bill the day before, but tough.  My foot hurt.  I was running slower on purpose because I was a little nervous about sparking an injury since I have a race coming up in two weeks and I did just run longer than I had ever run a mere 24 hours earlier.  I was in the 8’45” range, but actually decided not to look at my watch and just be a bit more disconnected.  I wanted to take things in – no music, no stressing the numbers, just enjoying the scenery and the run.

Next thing I know, I’m at The Eye, and a little bummed and want to run out past it.  I decided that wasn’t wise since a) it’s about three miles back, which could be tough if I was injured, b) I didn’t have time to walk back if I was injured or I’d be late for my flight home, c) I had no money, Tube pass or credit cards to buy my way back if I couldn’t run, and d) I wanted to run past Tower Bridge to Butler’s Wharf so I wanted to keep a little gas in the tank for that extra bit before heading back to the hotel.  I turned, and started back.

My foot hurt, but that was it. I had no problem otherwise. I actually had to remind myself that I need to be careful of my foot since my gait is probably off due to the pain when my left foot strikes, so I could injure something else or get some new blister.  I kept going anyway, and my mind and body were in that zone again – even when my foot sent sharp pains through my body.  I’ll admit my forefoot strike that I’m so proud of digressed into heel striking about 40% of the time to stay off those mets, but I kept going.

I came charging across Tower Bridge in the 7s, and started really pumping my arms to finish.  Slap the watch, and look down.  I had just crossed the 10K mark, which was awesome, but I was expecting my distance to start with a 7.  I decided I needed to do a cool down run, so I ran in the 9s around St. Katherine’s Dock (which is a beautiful little area), putting in another 0.68 on top of the 6.3 I had already clocked.  If only I knew I was .02 miles off from officially hitting seven rather than rounding to seven.  And my body and mind were still synced up, so that leisure pace dropped down into the 7s again – I couldn’t help myself.

I realized what was happening.  Biologically, there are reasons why I needed a warm up to get my body flowing, but mentally, I needed just a touch more distance, and then it was a light switch flick reaction.  Now that I’ve run past that place of doubt rather than always taking it as a sign that something is likely wrong and I need to stop – that is, interpreting it from a pessimistic and fearful perspective – I’ve allowed my mind to unlock.  What I’ve found on the other side of that door is amazing.  Putting specific pains aside (blisters, met pain, etc), I literally feel like my only constraint is time.  It’s an unreal and incredibly freeing and empowering feeling.

What I took away is the need to keep pushing myself regularly.  I need to seek a personal record (PR) every day – whatever that might and however it might be measured.  If we don’t push, we don’t grow.  We don’t achieve.  We don’t empower ourselves and see our true strength from within, which is a much more impactful place to see it from than from an external source.  I empowered myself to achieve and found this amazing place I wanted to perform at from now on.  How will you find that line so you can cross it and empower.your.body?