We put frames on things we treasure. Photos of loved ones, diplomas we worked hard (hopefully) to earn. Pictures of our kid's footprints. Our wedding invitations. The list goes on. But we actually frame everything in our life every day. Framing is the act of putting context and boundaries, if you will, around something. We frame a day as rainy (it happens to be a rainy day as I write this). We frame Uncle Stu as the wacky uncle (full disclosure, I have no Uncle Stu, but if I did, he'd be hilarious). But we frame ourselves, or, more accurately, our 'self' every day.
I had the honor of working with Stephen Wallace, former Chairman of SADD (Students Against Destructive Decisions, or formerly Drunk Driving), on studies into how kids develop their sense of self. Actions kids take and things they are exposed to lead directly to a strong sense of self, or the opposite. It's all about how they see themselves, and that then correlates to the life choices they make as they grow.
If you are on this journey with me, and trying to do better for yourself, you should be thinking about how you frame the idea of you, and what boundaries that places on you and what doors it not only can open for you, but help you walk right through.
I want to share two framing exercises that I'm sure resonate if you're reading this. The first is the smoker. This may not apply to all (hopefully none) of you, but the lesson is surprisingly powerful and simple. A friend's dad was talking about how he used to smoke, and we were all surprised. We couldn't see him as a smoker. He said that's exactly how he quit - he stopped seeing himself as a smoker. He had tried every stop-smoking approach in the book. The trouble was, he was always a smoker who was trying to stop smoking. One day, he woke up, and decided that the problem was how he identified with the idea of being a smoker, so he started seeing himself as (and telling himself that he was) a non-smoker. He literally never lit another cigarette after that epiphany.
I know, you're thinking that is either BS, or he's some super strong-willed genius and this isn't possible for mere mortals. I can assure you it isn't BS (I've seen photos of him smoking, and his wife confirmed the story), and, yes, he is strong-willed and ridiculously smart, but that doesn't mean it's not totally possible for others in similar situations. You needn't be a smoker to get the benefit.
So here's where the second example comes in, and the one I want to recommend you subscribe to. It's worked for me and it almost makes me giddy when I feel the power it gives me. You are an athlete.
Did you see that? Say it with me, "I am an athlete."
See, you're not an out of shape person trying to lose weight. Or a lazy person trying to get a bit more active. Or a bad example for your kids trying to teach them to live a bit better. You are an athlete.
Athletes are healthy. Athletes are active. Athletes are driven. Athletes are focused. Athletes succeed. You are an athlete.
The day I embraced that, I signed up for a 5K race. I was definitely capable of doing it before seeing myself as an athlete, but I was just a former fat kid who was working out. That doesn't really inspire you to get out there, put a line in the sand, and do something now does it?
Of course, I'm not talking about the mega rich athletes who live a life of indulgence, dope, drink or do drugs, etc. I'm talking about real, committed, pure athletes.
So, frame your image of your self as the thing you aspire to be, and you will be inspired. You will enlighten.your.body.
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