Growing up as 'the fat kid', I struggled when I lost weight and got in shape to see myself another way. I was in high school, and everyone around me knew me as the fat kid. It manifested primarily in a lack of self-confidence that pervaded my life, and was strongest at parties where I couldn't approach girls because I knew they thought I was unattractive. Surely girls from my school didn't think of me 'that way', but when there were girls who didn't know me at a party, I couldn't fathom the idea of looking like anything but 'the fat kid' to them. When one of them would approach me and show interest, I'd blow it off assuming it couldn't be real and that I must be misreading things.
For me, I carried that feeling through to college, and either hung out along the back wall at parties, or opted to stay in my dorm room instead of going out. College was a very similar setting to high school in terms of the types of people and situations I was in, so it wasn't a surprise that I felt and acted the same. The weird thing is, I was and always have been pretty outgoing and extroverted. So this wasn't just my general personality at play here. This was an outdated self-image stuck in my head from the past overpowering my natural outgoing nature.
It actually took spending a summer in China where the context I was in was so markedly different that I was able to see myself differently. Because I stood out so much from my surroundings, people noticed me instead me of passing by me to go talk to the football team star or basketball team captain.
At the same time as all of this, a high school classmate of mine was seen as shy, quiet, and nerdy yet not brainy (most people thought they were a bit of an airhead). That lasted all four years. Then in college, they took advantage of their new context, and created a new self image that they portrayed out. Popular, but not into cliques; smart but not in a socially awkward way; outgoing; friendly. A near 4.0 student who everyone knew and liked, they consistent made really sharp comments in class. It was literally night and day from high school. Of course, they didn't spend the summer between senior year in high school and freshman year in college in some intensive course on how to be smart, witty and outgoing. The underlying person was always the same, but something in high school was stifling it, and they succumbed to that pressure. High school is weird and does things like this, but it was great to see how they broke free of that to be who they were meant to be when they got to college.
The lesson here is the power of the context in which we live, and how we frame our self image in that context. For me, I was unable to break free of my original context when it changed a bit, and really needed a major context change to be who I was supposed to be. For my friend, they broke free sooner and blossomed.
What I've come to realize is that context isn't something you are subject to so much as the creator of. I was able to shift my view of myself and my health over the past year and half in the exact same context because I decided to look at myself differently. It was literally a light switch being thrown. Just because your surroundings are the same, the people viewing you haven't changed, etc, doesn't mean you can't grow, reshape yourself (literally and figuratively) and blossom. Whether you're in the same situation or not, you can enlighten your body. Knowing this is a contextual shift enough to make it happen. Now you just have to stop fighting it and go for it!
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Friday, September 21, 2012
Sweet N' Spicy, Burning Coffee
What a title, right? How appetizing does that sound? Well, it's actually really good (assuming you enjoy coffee). I rely on this flavor addition to black coffee to make it enjoyable, but also use it as the flavor basis for my unflavored casein drinks.
There are four things about this that make it good for getting the most of the Slow Carb Diet:
Cayenne and other hot peppers can also juice your ability to burn (Tim discusses its ability to spike the thermogenic response). The key with this is to use as much as you can tolerate without going nuts. I typically put in one shake from a little glass herb container of the stuff I buy at Wholefoods, and I tend to get the organic kind. Yes, it costs more, but an extra dollar becomes a negligible amount when the entire bottle lasts you several months.
Stevia is a godsend. It's natural, and very sweet without tasting like a laboratory. Black coffee can be stark and sharp for many folks used to a creamy, sugary cup of Joe. Stevia makes a big difference, especially when you consider that all other options either are essentially sugar (agave) or chemical (sucralose, aka Splenda, for example). Tim goes into the negatives of the chemical sweeteners given their impact on lab rats and the potential they have to lower your insulin sensitivity. Stevia suffers from none of that. Just note that it tends to be sweeter than sugar ounce for ounce, so if you are a two-scoop-of-sugar person, don't assume you need as much stevia.
Tim also talks at length about the fat burning effects of coffee (caffeinated). I won't rehash them, but it really does help burn fat/sugar, and is a staple of a smart Cheat Day strategy. Power it up with these two burn boosters, and throw in the sweetness of stevia, and you've got a delicious and effective weapon on your side.
Hopefully this helps some of you who really feel the need to add milk to your coffee. Milk isn't allowed on the SCD. You could add almond milk, but I find it introduces too strong of an almond flavor without really impacting the creaminess of the drink, so it doesn't really achieve what I'd be going for in adding milk or cream. The cinnamon adds interest to the flavor, and takes quite a bit of the edge off black coffee. The cayenne is largely unnoticeable, but adds a little dimension to the flavor. And then the stevia just adds the right sweetness for me.
Of course, if you drink black coffee today, you can skip the stevia, but you should consider adding the other two since they will benefit you. Enjoy. enlighten.your.coffee.
There are four things about this that make it good for getting the most of the Slow Carb Diet:
- Cinnamon
- Cayenne Pepper
- Stevia
- Coffee
Cayenne and other hot peppers can also juice your ability to burn (Tim discusses its ability to spike the thermogenic response). The key with this is to use as much as you can tolerate without going nuts. I typically put in one shake from a little glass herb container of the stuff I buy at Wholefoods, and I tend to get the organic kind. Yes, it costs more, but an extra dollar becomes a negligible amount when the entire bottle lasts you several months.
Stevia is a godsend. It's natural, and very sweet without tasting like a laboratory. Black coffee can be stark and sharp for many folks used to a creamy, sugary cup of Joe. Stevia makes a big difference, especially when you consider that all other options either are essentially sugar (agave) or chemical (sucralose, aka Splenda, for example). Tim goes into the negatives of the chemical sweeteners given their impact on lab rats and the potential they have to lower your insulin sensitivity. Stevia suffers from none of that. Just note that it tends to be sweeter than sugar ounce for ounce, so if you are a two-scoop-of-sugar person, don't assume you need as much stevia.
Tim also talks at length about the fat burning effects of coffee (caffeinated). I won't rehash them, but it really does help burn fat/sugar, and is a staple of a smart Cheat Day strategy. Power it up with these two burn boosters, and throw in the sweetness of stevia, and you've got a delicious and effective weapon on your side.
Hopefully this helps some of you who really feel the need to add milk to your coffee. Milk isn't allowed on the SCD. You could add almond milk, but I find it introduces too strong of an almond flavor without really impacting the creaminess of the drink, so it doesn't really achieve what I'd be going for in adding milk or cream. The cinnamon adds interest to the flavor, and takes quite a bit of the edge off black coffee. The cayenne is largely unnoticeable, but adds a little dimension to the flavor. And then the stevia just adds the right sweetness for me.
Of course, if you drink black coffee today, you can skip the stevia, but you should consider adding the other two since they will benefit you. Enjoy. enlighten.your.coffee.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Be 'Fit', Not 'Not Healthy'
My wife shared a great book with me about how you can heal your life. It's titled, oddly enough, You Can Heal Your Life, by Louise Hay. It's really brilliant. You might be skeptical of these things, but I promise you, read a bit, and you'll be hooked. Amazon has a great box set with the book and DVD for under $15. It's worth it.
So, there is a particularly relevant and powerful piece that ties to what newbodi.es is all about. Hay talks about how whatever you think about grows. To explain it better, here's a quote from the book:
She goes into the power of affirmations. It may sound like flowers and unicorns, but she's right. This is exactly what I was getting at in two blog posts - 'Frame Your Self to Value Yourself' and 'Visualizing a Carrot & Stick'. Take the positive side of the same equation or question, and it will put you ahead. You will be stronger.
Using Hay's examples and advice, if you're on this health and fitness journey with me, you wouldn't think, "I don't want to be unhealthy anymore." You would instead think, "I want to be healthy." Not, "I don't want to be fat." But, "I want to be thin and fit." It's so simple. But it's true, it does make a difference. The end goal and meaning are the same, but the way you get there is literally night and day. One inspires while the other punishes, guilts and puts down.
How do you think you're going to succeed? By feeling bad about yourself, or by feeling inspired and driven? I'll give you a hint, depression and lack of self-worth don't tend to lead us to be better. Instead, enlighten.your.body.
So, there is a particularly relevant and powerful piece that ties to what newbodi.es is all about. Hay talks about how whatever you think about grows. To explain it better, here's a quote from the book:
What you put your attention on grows and becomes permanent in your life. Move away from the negative and put your attention on what you really do want to be or have.
Louise Hay, You Can Heal Your Life, Hay House Inc, Carlsbad, CA, pages 76.
Fighting the negative is a total waste of time if you really want to make changes in your life. The more you dwell on what you don't want, the more of it you create.
Louise Hay, You Can Heal Your Life, Hay House Inc, Carlsbad, CA, pages 75.
She goes into the power of affirmations. It may sound like flowers and unicorns, but she's right. This is exactly what I was getting at in two blog posts - 'Frame Your Self to Value Yourself' and 'Visualizing a Carrot & Stick'. Take the positive side of the same equation or question, and it will put you ahead. You will be stronger.
Using Hay's examples and advice, if you're on this health and fitness journey with me, you wouldn't think, "I don't want to be unhealthy anymore." You would instead think, "I want to be healthy." Not, "I don't want to be fat." But, "I want to be thin and fit." It's so simple. But it's true, it does make a difference. The end goal and meaning are the same, but the way you get there is literally night and day. One inspires while the other punishes, guilts and puts down.
How do you think you're going to succeed? By feeling bad about yourself, or by feeling inspired and driven? I'll give you a hint, depression and lack of self-worth don't tend to lead us to be better. Instead, enlighten.your.body.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Visualizing a Carrot & Stick
Visualization (or 'visualisation' for my UK-English-speaking friends) has long been a tool of athletes around the world to perform better. I've read a lot about it as I enlightened my body, but have also had much experience playing with it myself. I've started using it a wider range of settings, so I thought it would be a good topic to discuss a bit. Let's take a look at the two approaches - the carrot (positive visualization) and the stick (negative visualization).
The Carrot
This is how most people experience visualization, and what I personally use, prefer and recommend. It's about seeing yourself be successful in whatever goal you're looking at, big or small. Envision yourself thin, crossing the finish line, being handed a diploma, etc.
My first real experience with it was with testing maximum weights I could lift in high school. My coach would have me sit on the bench, close my eyes, and, while breathing in deeply I would imagine the weight coming down, and then with a forceful exhale and thrusting of my arms, send the weight up. I'd do this several times (10-15) while he set the weight so I wouldn't know what was coming. This way, I couldn't latch on to a number fear or doubt, but instead only focus on putting up the weight I was seeing in my mind's eye. On the last imaginary set, I'd get into position, and go right into the lift. I'd always put up more weight than I would have chosen for myself, and likely than I could have done without the mental warm up, so to speak.
The other way I have been using it is when I run on the treadmill. There's no escaping the monotony of treadmill running versus a great outdoor setting on a nice day. I was going to do a 30 minute run, and was really dreading how long it would feel like it was taking. So, I said to myself that I'd stop focusing on that, and just recall my runs along the River Thames in London that I was lucky enough to do recently. I really pictured the Thames Path - each turn, bridge, staircase, landmark, etc. I actually ended up getting totally lost in it. I looked down, and half the run was already done. It blew me away.
I was talking to someone about this, and how you can use it for the non-physical, too. If you're sick, you can either focus on every ache and pain, or see yourself better, and focus on that. Being happy and hopeful releases chemicals that make you feel happy and ultimately better since the immune system does better when stress is reduced (see "Stress: Portrait of a Killer" from National Geographic).
The Stick
Two authors I recommend for a health journey are AJ Jacobs (Drop Dead Healthy) and Tim Ferriss (The Four Hour Body), both of whom suggest visualization. The thing is, they are using it opposite to how most people think of it - to prod you away from the wrong path rather than draw you to the right one.
Ferriss is pretty explicit here, and the visualization is aided by a picture. He recommends you have a 'before' picture prominently displayed somewhere you'll see it every day, and preferably somewhere around where you're trying to get or stay healthy, such as on the mirror you get changed in front of when putting on workout clothes, or on the fridge so you don't pick bad things inside. It works, but I think you can get there by focusing on who you want to be more than what you're afraid of going back to or staying. It's the same game, but taking the positive side of the equation rather than the side engulfed in fear, negativity and guilt.
Jacobs uses an iPhone app to take a picture of himself before embarking on his fitness journey and age it. He looks at the picture of his future self, and talks about wanting to do better for him and not let him down. The thing is, it's really about disappointment and the image of himself aged from the wrong starting place. I tried it. The results were scary, and more like I got wrinkles painted on my face for some summer camp play in which I played a grandfather. And then they threw flour in my face and hair. It was freaky. It's not a stick as explicitly as what Tim Ferriss does, but it's not positive, either. While he talks about owing it to your future self, it's really about guilting you into being healthy.
Guilt and fear can work and work well, but my concern is that they are not going to help you with moving to a mentally positive place overall with your attitude. You should do what works for you, but be open to positive visualization as a motivator as the more positive things you use to get to your goals, the stronger a person you will be and the more likely you will be to stay on the right path. Ultimately, that's what matters - you are trying to get and stay healthy. That takes some serious personal strength, and that strength comes from empowerment and positivity, not from fear or guilt. Since when do people associate fear and guilt with empowerment and strength? Enlighten.your.body.
The Carrot
This is how most people experience visualization, and what I personally use, prefer and recommend. It's about seeing yourself be successful in whatever goal you're looking at, big or small. Envision yourself thin, crossing the finish line, being handed a diploma, etc.
My first real experience with it was with testing maximum weights I could lift in high school. My coach would have me sit on the bench, close my eyes, and, while breathing in deeply I would imagine the weight coming down, and then with a forceful exhale and thrusting of my arms, send the weight up. I'd do this several times (10-15) while he set the weight so I wouldn't know what was coming. This way, I couldn't latch on to a number fear or doubt, but instead only focus on putting up the weight I was seeing in my mind's eye. On the last imaginary set, I'd get into position, and go right into the lift. I'd always put up more weight than I would have chosen for myself, and likely than I could have done without the mental warm up, so to speak.
The other way I have been using it is when I run on the treadmill. There's no escaping the monotony of treadmill running versus a great outdoor setting on a nice day. I was going to do a 30 minute run, and was really dreading how long it would feel like it was taking. So, I said to myself that I'd stop focusing on that, and just recall my runs along the River Thames in London that I was lucky enough to do recently. I really pictured the Thames Path - each turn, bridge, staircase, landmark, etc. I actually ended up getting totally lost in it. I looked down, and half the run was already done. It blew me away.
I was talking to someone about this, and how you can use it for the non-physical, too. If you're sick, you can either focus on every ache and pain, or see yourself better, and focus on that. Being happy and hopeful releases chemicals that make you feel happy and ultimately better since the immune system does better when stress is reduced (see "Stress: Portrait of a Killer" from National Geographic).
The Stick
Two authors I recommend for a health journey are AJ Jacobs (Drop Dead Healthy) and Tim Ferriss (The Four Hour Body), both of whom suggest visualization. The thing is, they are using it opposite to how most people think of it - to prod you away from the wrong path rather than draw you to the right one.
Ferriss is pretty explicit here, and the visualization is aided by a picture. He recommends you have a 'before' picture prominently displayed somewhere you'll see it every day, and preferably somewhere around where you're trying to get or stay healthy, such as on the mirror you get changed in front of when putting on workout clothes, or on the fridge so you don't pick bad things inside. It works, but I think you can get there by focusing on who you want to be more than what you're afraid of going back to or staying. It's the same game, but taking the positive side of the equation rather than the side engulfed in fear, negativity and guilt.
Jacobs uses an iPhone app to take a picture of himself before embarking on his fitness journey and age it. He looks at the picture of his future self, and talks about wanting to do better for him and not let him down. The thing is, it's really about disappointment and the image of himself aged from the wrong starting place. I tried it. The results were scary, and more like I got wrinkles painted on my face for some summer camp play in which I played a grandfather. And then they threw flour in my face and hair. It was freaky. It's not a stick as explicitly as what Tim Ferriss does, but it's not positive, either. While he talks about owing it to your future self, it's really about guilting you into being healthy.
Guilt and fear can work and work well, but my concern is that they are not going to help you with moving to a mentally positive place overall with your attitude. You should do what works for you, but be open to positive visualization as a motivator as the more positive things you use to get to your goals, the stronger a person you will be and the more likely you will be to stay on the right path. Ultimately, that's what matters - you are trying to get and stay healthy. That takes some serious personal strength, and that strength comes from empowerment and positivity, not from fear or guilt. Since when do people associate fear and guilt with empowerment and strength? Enlighten.your.body.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Tread Miles
As the weather gets less amazing, I'm relegated to treadmill miles more and more. I've been really lucky to have been able to run in some great locations lately, including a week of running along the Thames in London. Amazing.
The treadmill isn't all bad, so perhaps 'relegated' isn't the right word, but it is not as good as running outside. It does have some distinct benefits, and I'd actually recommend it for a novice or to get back on your feet to help build some basics. Then set yourself free and really do some amazing things on your feet outside.
The Good
Treadmills provide a steady, reliable and consistent platform on which to run. That means the major muscle groups can develop in a bit of a protected environment. I've discussed how this helped me rebuild foot toughness as I got back into running after hernia surgery. It's also really easy to see your progress thanks to all the metrics most treadmills provide. So, if you're just getting into running, it can be a good way to build into it smoothly.
One other strong point is that you don't run on treadmills. Treadmills run you. This is also a downside I discuss later, but for a novice, this can be really helpful. If you use intervals, you are forced to keep up (or fall off), so you end up going faster when you should and slower when you shouldn't. Just be sure to be choosing appropriate speeds.
So, there are benefits.
The Bad
I already mentioned a pro that is a con - treadmills run you, not the other way around. While this can help to ensure you speed up during your intense interval, I find that, for the same level of effort, I go considerably slower on the treadmill than outside. I tend to run in the low 7-minutes when I go on my 2 minute intense interval. On the treadmill, I really have to kick it hard to maintain an 8-minute pace, and am hurting to break 8. I can also maintain a sub 7'30" pace running outside for some distance (or time), but can't do that on the treadmill. Well, 'can't' is a strong word. I could, but it wouldn't be wise.
Another downside is the lack of variability in cushioning, path level/variation, and direction. Hitting different types of surfaces builds some really fine motor skills in your feet, ankles, calves...basically, everything - even your arms since you likely use them a bit differently on different surfaces. The same goes for dealing with uneven or undulating surfaces. And making a turn is a good thing to develop muscles all around your leg rather than just the narrow set needed to go straight ahead. In essence, variability in what you're running on really helps build a complete running machine. This is really similar to lifting weights with a machine versus free weights.
The Surprising
I was really shocked at the whole 'treadmill runs you' aspect. I started running on a treadmill, and signed up for a 5K, but was really concerned with my expected time given what I was doing on the treadmill. My first run outside, I shaved 3 minutes off my 5K. That's huge. By the end of the month with maybe 40% outdoor running, my non-treadmill time had come down by another 3 minutes. My treadmill time was roughly the same, though. This was so surprising.
So, they aren't all bad, and aren't all good. They serve a purpose, and are definitely better than not running, but if you can, do get out into the world and run a bit. It's really rewarding mentally and physically. If you can track your time and distance, I think you will find it really rewarding to your sense of accomplishment, too. Go on, enlighten.your.body.
The treadmill isn't all bad, so perhaps 'relegated' isn't the right word, but it is not as good as running outside. It does have some distinct benefits, and I'd actually recommend it for a novice or to get back on your feet to help build some basics. Then set yourself free and really do some amazing things on your feet outside.
The Good
Treadmills provide a steady, reliable and consistent platform on which to run. That means the major muscle groups can develop in a bit of a protected environment. I've discussed how this helped me rebuild foot toughness as I got back into running after hernia surgery. It's also really easy to see your progress thanks to all the metrics most treadmills provide. So, if you're just getting into running, it can be a good way to build into it smoothly.
One other strong point is that you don't run on treadmills. Treadmills run you. This is also a downside I discuss later, but for a novice, this can be really helpful. If you use intervals, you are forced to keep up (or fall off), so you end up going faster when you should and slower when you shouldn't. Just be sure to be choosing appropriate speeds.
So, there are benefits.
The Bad
I already mentioned a pro that is a con - treadmills run you, not the other way around. While this can help to ensure you speed up during your intense interval, I find that, for the same level of effort, I go considerably slower on the treadmill than outside. I tend to run in the low 7-minutes when I go on my 2 minute intense interval. On the treadmill, I really have to kick it hard to maintain an 8-minute pace, and am hurting to break 8. I can also maintain a sub 7'30" pace running outside for some distance (or time), but can't do that on the treadmill. Well, 'can't' is a strong word. I could, but it wouldn't be wise.
Another downside is the lack of variability in cushioning, path level/variation, and direction. Hitting different types of surfaces builds some really fine motor skills in your feet, ankles, calves...basically, everything - even your arms since you likely use them a bit differently on different surfaces. The same goes for dealing with uneven or undulating surfaces. And making a turn is a good thing to develop muscles all around your leg rather than just the narrow set needed to go straight ahead. In essence, variability in what you're running on really helps build a complete running machine. This is really similar to lifting weights with a machine versus free weights.
The Surprising
I was really shocked at the whole 'treadmill runs you' aspect. I started running on a treadmill, and signed up for a 5K, but was really concerned with my expected time given what I was doing on the treadmill. My first run outside, I shaved 3 minutes off my 5K. That's huge. By the end of the month with maybe 40% outdoor running, my non-treadmill time had come down by another 3 minutes. My treadmill time was roughly the same, though. This was so surprising.
So, they aren't all bad, and aren't all good. They serve a purpose, and are definitely better than not running, but if you can, do get out into the world and run a bit. It's really rewarding mentally and physically. If you can track your time and distance, I think you will find it really rewarding to your sense of accomplishment, too. Go on, enlighten.your.body.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Frame Your Self to Value Yourself
We put frames on things we treasure. Photos of loved ones, diplomas we worked hard (hopefully) to earn. Pictures of our kid's footprints. Our wedding invitations. The list goes on. But we actually frame everything in our life every day. Framing is the act of putting context and boundaries, if you will, around something. We frame a day as rainy (it happens to be a rainy day as I write this). We frame Uncle Stu as the wacky uncle (full disclosure, I have no Uncle Stu, but if I did, he'd be hilarious). But we frame ourselves, or, more accurately, our 'self' every day.
I had the honor of working with Stephen Wallace, former Chairman of SADD (Students Against Destructive Decisions, or formerly Drunk Driving), on studies into how kids develop their sense of self. Actions kids take and things they are exposed to lead directly to a strong sense of self, or the opposite. It's all about how they see themselves, and that then correlates to the life choices they make as they grow.
If you are on this journey with me, and trying to do better for yourself, you should be thinking about how you frame the idea of you, and what boundaries that places on you and what doors it not only can open for you, but help you walk right through.
I want to share two framing exercises that I'm sure resonate if you're reading this. The first is the smoker. This may not apply to all (hopefully none) of you, but the lesson is surprisingly powerful and simple. A friend's dad was talking about how he used to smoke, and we were all surprised. We couldn't see him as a smoker. He said that's exactly how he quit - he stopped seeing himself as a smoker. He had tried every stop-smoking approach in the book. The trouble was, he was always a smoker who was trying to stop smoking. One day, he woke up, and decided that the problem was how he identified with the idea of being a smoker, so he started seeing himself as (and telling himself that he was) a non-smoker. He literally never lit another cigarette after that epiphany.
I know, you're thinking that is either BS, or he's some super strong-willed genius and this isn't possible for mere mortals. I can assure you it isn't BS (I've seen photos of him smoking, and his wife confirmed the story), and, yes, he is strong-willed and ridiculously smart, but that doesn't mean it's not totally possible for others in similar situations. You needn't be a smoker to get the benefit.
So here's where the second example comes in, and the one I want to recommend you subscribe to. It's worked for me and it almost makes me giddy when I feel the power it gives me. You are an athlete.
Did you see that? Say it with me, "I am an athlete."
See, you're not an out of shape person trying to lose weight. Or a lazy person trying to get a bit more active. Or a bad example for your kids trying to teach them to live a bit better. You are an athlete.
Athletes are healthy. Athletes are active. Athletes are driven. Athletes are focused. Athletes succeed. You are an athlete.
The day I embraced that, I signed up for a 5K race. I was definitely capable of doing it before seeing myself as an athlete, but I was just a former fat kid who was working out. That doesn't really inspire you to get out there, put a line in the sand, and do something now does it?
Of course, I'm not talking about the mega rich athletes who live a life of indulgence, dope, drink or do drugs, etc. I'm talking about real, committed, pure athletes.
So, frame your image of your self as the thing you aspire to be, and you will be inspired. You will enlighten.your.body.
I had the honor of working with Stephen Wallace, former Chairman of SADD (Students Against Destructive Decisions, or formerly Drunk Driving), on studies into how kids develop their sense of self. Actions kids take and things they are exposed to lead directly to a strong sense of self, or the opposite. It's all about how they see themselves, and that then correlates to the life choices they make as they grow.
If you are on this journey with me, and trying to do better for yourself, you should be thinking about how you frame the idea of you, and what boundaries that places on you and what doors it not only can open for you, but help you walk right through.
I want to share two framing exercises that I'm sure resonate if you're reading this. The first is the smoker. This may not apply to all (hopefully none) of you, but the lesson is surprisingly powerful and simple. A friend's dad was talking about how he used to smoke, and we were all surprised. We couldn't see him as a smoker. He said that's exactly how he quit - he stopped seeing himself as a smoker. He had tried every stop-smoking approach in the book. The trouble was, he was always a smoker who was trying to stop smoking. One day, he woke up, and decided that the problem was how he identified with the idea of being a smoker, so he started seeing himself as (and telling himself that he was) a non-smoker. He literally never lit another cigarette after that epiphany.
I know, you're thinking that is either BS, or he's some super strong-willed genius and this isn't possible for mere mortals. I can assure you it isn't BS (I've seen photos of him smoking, and his wife confirmed the story), and, yes, he is strong-willed and ridiculously smart, but that doesn't mean it's not totally possible for others in similar situations. You needn't be a smoker to get the benefit.
So here's where the second example comes in, and the one I want to recommend you subscribe to. It's worked for me and it almost makes me giddy when I feel the power it gives me. You are an athlete.
Did you see that? Say it with me, "I am an athlete."
See, you're not an out of shape person trying to lose weight. Or a lazy person trying to get a bit more active. Or a bad example for your kids trying to teach them to live a bit better. You are an athlete.
Athletes are healthy. Athletes are active. Athletes are driven. Athletes are focused. Athletes succeed. You are an athlete.
The day I embraced that, I signed up for a 5K race. I was definitely capable of doing it before seeing myself as an athlete, but I was just a former fat kid who was working out. That doesn't really inspire you to get out there, put a line in the sand, and do something now does it?
Of course, I'm not talking about the mega rich athletes who live a life of indulgence, dope, drink or do drugs, etc. I'm talking about real, committed, pure athletes.
So, frame your image of your self as the thing you aspire to be, and you will be inspired. You will enlighten.your.body.